well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
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You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
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Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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