My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize