Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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