I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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