i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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