i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize