He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
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New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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