How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize