i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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