Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize