My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
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I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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