He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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