I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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