WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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