I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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