That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
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THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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