and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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