Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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