dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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