you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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