I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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