I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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