the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
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This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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