aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize