im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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