I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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