It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize