Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize