why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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