I wish I could punch you in the face.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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