i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize