I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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