As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
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He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
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White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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