I wannas sexs uuuuu
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize