theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize