OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize