i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
