My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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