I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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