well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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