Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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