the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize