This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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