just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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