We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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