did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize