There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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