Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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