omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
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She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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