if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize